A big ol' JELLY BEAN...

Okay...so I know what y'all are thinking.  What is this girl's obsession with jelly beans?
  The short answer is...Well, I am one.

No, I'm not a fruity, sweet, delicious, little, chewy candy goodness piece of heaven....I am what we all should strive not to be, jealous.  A big fat jelly bean.  I've affectionately nicknamed myself a "jelly bean" to avoid saying, "I'm so jealous of your life I make myself want to vomit".  Commenting on some one's Jamaican beach vacation pictures with, "Oh man, I'm a jelly bean right now!" just sounds so much prettier.  It sounds sweet and innocent, not like the giant snarling monster that it is.

As much as I push myself to be thankful for the wonderful life, family, and friends that I'm blessed with I still have at least one jelly bean moment a day.  Unfortunately, it started at a really young age for me.  I was 5 years old when I had my first visceral, big, emotional, green-eyed jealous moment.  I was welcomed into my best friend (codename) Leo's home.  Her home was nothing like mine and I fell in love with it.  The truth is I'm still jealous of it to this very day.  It was big, bright, full of laughter and history, and was the most encouraging atmosphere I had ever encountered.  It is still probably in the top 3 for me.  I was lucky enough to continue getting invites and spent many weekend slumber parties and afternoon snack times at her house.  I don't have the words to express my gratitude for her and her family to offer such a positive shelter and safe haven for me to grow in.  SHEW....enough with the sap.  I'm sure I'll have many posts to follow up on this topic (angsty childhood drama, family crap, early development of my jelly bean syndrome).

So...that is my introduction to the idea of being a jelly bean.  While I'm doing my best to grow into a better, less jelly person  I feel certain I'll have plenty to write about!

Thanks for stopping by and feel free to let me know some of your "Jelly Bean" moments below.

 Keep chewing, beans <3